I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
jump out the window naked night went bad
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
