dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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