Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
