I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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