You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
