So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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