She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
