Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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