when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
