those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
