im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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