i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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