Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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