3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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