Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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