watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
