I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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