Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
even my farts smell like vagina
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
