Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
