I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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