Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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