I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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