i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
