ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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