the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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