All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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