sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
