It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
