spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
