Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's always time for handjobs
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
