I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
