I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
