what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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