i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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