I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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