i just made my gag reflex go away.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
