I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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