she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize