Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
