i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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