I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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