Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
