Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
