Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
