make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize