so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
did you just send me my own nude
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
