just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
