we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
