this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
