am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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