we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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