What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
