My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
