yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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