why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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