it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
