there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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