You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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