fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
