At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize