i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
