the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
